The Dark Passenger

A 23 year old girl in Delhi got assaulted and brutally raped a few days ago. She is battling for her life. And the nation is battling with itself.

RAPE. A four letter word which comes with a stigma attached to it, has the public, cops, the judiciary and the government dancing to its tunes. No sooner does an event create enough buzz, that it spurs a series of debates, discussions, write-ups and posters all over.

I read an article from a spiritual community, which said that rape had nothing to do with sex. Sex is passionate and involves love while rape is a blend of hate, anger and disrespect for another human being. Hence both are on opposite ends of the spectrum.

I neither completely agree nor disagree with the above point. Rape is definitely a problem. The increasing number of incidents and lack of control on the situation is a bigger problem. But, an even bigger problem is our misconceptions of this social evil and our narrow minded approach to it. We are still conservative while dealing with problems affecting the society. We see the symptoms and mistake it for the disease. Hence we fight the symptoms while the disease prevails.

The concept and definition of rape needs refurbishment. Can an act of sexual violence be classified as rape, only if there has been an intercourse? Even though the stats prove that it is usually the males who are rapists, can we say with absolute certainty that a woman cannot turn into a rapist? Can a male be raped? Are the boys who are victims of sodomy considered as rape victims?

If we look at the problem from different angles, each one of them is sure to open up a fresh set of questions.

My idea of writing this blog is not to find answers to all the questions pertaining to the problem but to analyze the root cause of such deviant behavior. What makes a person a rapist? Some say that it is a psychological disorder and that rapists are insane. Some others are of the opinion that these people are not insane but victims of certain social problems. Another viewpoint is that they are sexually deprived and hence desperate.

None of these schools of thought are completely wrong. It is hard to point out any one reason. But we can be certain that even though the act is sexual by nature, it has very less to do with sex itself.

As I see it, this pseudo-sexual act comprises of two parts. The primary factors or ingredients (as I would call it) and the catalysts. The catalysts are many (social, economic, political etc.), however we may be able to spot high levels of similarity among the primary factors lying at the base of every rape case. My point is that instead of just fighting and suppressing the catalysts, we must target the primary factors even though they maybe extremely difficult to uproot.

One of the most prominent primary factor according to me is the 'need for POWER'. The complication here is that this need is engraved into most of us, not just the ones who commit the crime. Deep within ourselves, there is a need to prove either to ourselves or/and to others that we have POWER and that we are in control. The concept of power too is multidimensional, hence the way in which we satisfy this need would vary from person to person. This need maybe dormant in some while it maybe prominent in some others.

Rapists would fall into the latter category. The catalysts, whatever they may be, would trigger the action. But as I mentioned, the root cause lies in the strong desire to prove that one has power over another. And this necessity to prove usually originates from a deeply set inferiority complex. Hence, anyone who suffers from this complex would mostly try dominating someone who is physically, mentally or emotionally weaker and fool himself or herself into enjoying the feeling of superiority. There are numerous situations around us where we witness or may even be a part of domination or submission. Rape is one such extreme act which allows the perpetrator to channelize his aggression through a sexual medium and derive sadistic pleasure in the misery of the victim.

It would be myopic to believe that the human race lies in pure contrast. We all have shades of grey. Most of us, at a conscious level are oblivious to the dark sides of our own selves. Like the popular TV character Dexter Morgan says..."we all have a Dark Passenger inside". Its hard to predict when will this passenger wake up.

This blog has not come to a conclusion. It has only turned the board around so that the readers can take off those tinted glasses for sometime while analyzing the concept of rape in the light of the current scenario. As I write this, the media is buzzing with fresh cases of rape.

There are too many Dark Passengers waking up. The question is...will we be able to identify and keep a check on them?

The Insignificant Ant

Once upon a time, there was a man who was frustrated with life. This isn't uncommon. Frustrated people can be found anywhere and everywhere. We all get frustrated at some point or the other. But then, that is how a story always begins!

So, once upon a time, there was a man who was frustrated with life. There were many reasons for him to be so. He felt that he was failing at everything he was attempting in life. This was not limited to just work, but also relationships, balancing emotions and taking up a spiritual journey. His frustration made him anxious... and his anxiety increased his frustration. He tried devouring self-help books and listening to talks by spiritual gurus. His knowledge and awareness increased book by book and guru by guru. Yet there was something that was missing. His greatest asset was the staunch faith that he would find something that would inspire him and fill that void that he was experiencing.

One sunny morning, he was sitting leaning on a wall in his house, lost in thoughts when he saw a little black ant. An insignificant little creature restlessly running close to the base of the wall, trying to climb up. After a lot of efforts, it finally found its way up. It started climbing up, pausing at intervals, looking towards both sides and then climbing up again. The young man was carefully observing the ant. It was close to reaching the top when all of a sudden, it lost its grip and fell. It lay there for a few seconds struggling to get up. Just when the man thought that the ant must be in extreme pain, it gathered itself and started marching up again.

This scene reminded the young man of the story of the King and the Spider. The young man was impressed and decided to ask for some tips from the ant.

He interjected, "Hey little fella, that was impressive!"
The Ant, taken by surprise (that a human should talk to him) just stared back.
The young man, sensing the question in the Ant's mind, said, "What you did just did...getting up after a fall and climbing up again...that was impressive"
Ant: "What is so impressive about that?"
Man: "You did not let the fall affect you and stop you from climbing again"
Ant: "Why should it affect me? Its a part of my work. It happens to me all the time"
Man: "Precisely. You fail so many times, yet you don't feel dejected"
Ant: "What do you mean I fail so many times?"
Man: "I mean, each time you fall, you are failing..and you fall umpteen times. But what is fantastic is how you get up and keep striving towards success...just like the spider in that story"
Ant (confused): "Which spider? What story? What are you talking about dude?"
Man (surprised): "Haven't you heard the story of the King and the Spider, in which the Spider keeps weaving its web till it succeeds to make one?"
Ant (getting restless): "No, I haven't heard any such story"
Man: "Do you read any self-help books?"
Ant: "No"
Man: "So then you must be definitely attending the discourses of some spiritual guru."
Ant: "No... I don't."
Man (even more surprised) : So then, where do you get your motivation from? Do you a have a Success Coach?
Ant (perplexed): "Whats that now?"
Man: "Someone who can coach you to become successful."
Ant: "I really can't get a thing of what you are saying. What is 'becoming successful'all about?"

Man: "Look at what you have been trying to do. You wanted to climb that wall. Had you reached the top, you would have been successful. But you fell, which means you failed in your attempt to climb the wall. But you are up again now trying to climb the wall, which is why I admire you. And I have been wondering how are you able to get back to action inspite of the great fall. I have been failing too like you, but I find it so hard to get up sometimes, which is why I wanted to know your secret source of motivation."

The Ant heard it all patiently. He was then quiet for a while. The young man hopefully waited for the Ant to say something. 'Who knows, the Ant might just share his secret now.' thought the man.

Suddenly the Ant looked up at the man, and broke the silence.

Ant: "Well..the secret that you are looking for is that.."  The man's face lit up, 'Oh yes, he is telling me his secret now'
Ant: "there is NO secret."
Man (confused): "What? There is no secret? How is that possible? If you do not want to tell me that is ok. But you need not lie to me that there is no secret." The man had started getting irritated.

The Ant continued calmly, "Chill dude. I am not lying. There is indeed no secret. I live with a thousand other ants in an anthill nearby. That is my house and we are a very big family. All of us have our roles to play. Each one of us plays his or her respective role sincerely without interfering in anyone else's work. I am a scout. My role is to search and find food and then inform the worker ants to start collecting it. I also scout for new places to build anthills, should any calamity befall our home. So we all get up in the morning...head to work..do what we have to do and then get back home to our family and celebrate. But yes, in a way... we are different from human beings."

Man: "How are you different? Even we have families and homes, we try to work too so that we can celebrate. Infact we have a lot more things to take care of"

Ant: "Precisely. You guys have a lot more to take care of...and that is because you guys complicate life a lot more too!"

Man: "How is that?"

Ant: "Look at all those questions you were asking me...about success and failure..falling and getting up..it clearly shows that humans are extremely good at labeling things..labeling every little event of life. You labeled my fall as a failure. I didn't. You said that if I reached the top of the wall, that would be success for me. I didn't say that."

Ant continued: "For me, its just a part of being myself and doing what I should be doing... Scouting. I explore places..I run here and there, climb walls... and if I fall, I just get up and climb again. And when I reach the top of the wall, I continue to walk, searching for food and when I find it, I call my brothers. And then I keep going ahead till the end of the day. Once I am done, I go home and enjoy my life back there.

I cannot see success or failure in this process. None of us can. For that matter, I am sure that the spider you were talking of, was weaving his web, simply because he had to..thats a part of being a spider. He wasn't trying to prove anything to the world or feature in storybooks."

"You find it hard to get up because you attach a lot of importance to that fall. The labels act as gravity. We ants or spiders or the bees don't have labels. We enjoy being ourselves and just do what we have to do."

The young man didn't know what to say. This Insignificant little Ant had suddenly brought about a shift in the man's perspective. The Ant had not revealed any great secret, given a sermon or quoted from the Holy books. All what he spoke was practical wisdom.

Man: "Err..Thanks...I don't know what to tell you..you have changed the way I..."

Ant: "Its ok pal. I am not a philosopher. I told you what I know. And by the way...I am getting late and if keep talking to you, I wont be able to complete my errand and reach back home in time for the party!"

With that, the Ant winked and continued climbing the wall.

The young man sat there with a smile dawning on his face.

Paradox of Existence: Part II

I have often felt and made it a point to declare that, I feel lonely even when I am amidst people... people whom I know, people I trust, people I love. I am perfectly present with them... talking, sharing, laughing and enjoying the camaraderie.

Yet I suddenly feel aloof. I feel that I drift away... partially conscious of the event. I feel alone and lonely. 

Whenever I have voiced this feeling out, it seems to boomerang. Many of the people I know, have told me that they have felt the same way too. I have always been curious about this feeling while surreptitiously enjoying it. Over a period of time I learned to admit that I do enjoy it. You can never keep secrets from your own self. 

Today, as I was reading an article in The Speaking Tree, it came as a revelation to me that this feeling of loneliness we experience while we are with others... in a way is perfect! Now I know why I secretly enjoyed it. 

There are certain laws or codes, most of them unwritten which we learn as we play the game of life. We have to hit the turf to know how these laws function. The one which I am writing about today can be related to one of the fundamental laws of 'attachment with detachment' which Lord Krishna preaches through The Gita.

We are not meant to get completely lost. Neither should we be completely lost in our own inner worlds nor should we completely dilute ourselves in the crowd. If we are on earth, most of our karma unfolds through our interactions with people whether physical, mental, emotional or spiritual. Hence, as I understand it, there is a point of intersection between 'being with others' and 'being by oneself'.

This point is yet another Paradox of Existence. I am continuing to explore it...continuing to explore the Perfection in the Paradox.

The Epilogue

 

  

Walk through the garden behind the mansion, letting the lawn kiss your feet. Listen to the nature...pulsating with the energy of Love...love that brought  two ordinary human beings together and transformed their life into a fairy tale. 

As you approach their graves, let your footsteps be soft...for their souls lie there locked in an eternal moment of silence. Sit beside the tombstones and wipe off the autumn leaves showered by the trees that cover the epitaph which reads...

"And they lived happily ever after..."

10 Reasons to be Happy during an Autorickshaw strike in Mumbai

Mumbai is getting baked at 33 degree Celsius. The Autorickshaws are on strike (nearly 80,000 in the suburbs alone). Buses and trains are overflowing with people (as if they were any better earlier). In short, the common man is deprived of one of the most preferred modes of public transport. We Mumbaikars hate this. We all curse it.

I kept grumbling about this until I decided to see the 'sunny side up'. Why not just look at some of the advantages of the strike and feel happy! So here are 10 reasons to be happy about the autorickshaw strike. 

1. Roads in Mumbai are less congested during Rickshaw strikes. Hence, other vehicles move faster and its easier to cross roads.
2. Less air and noise pollution!! I don't have to explain how much this means to our dear city. 
3. We all know about the rigged meters and we sometimes keep staring at it before arguing with rickshaw driver. During strikes, one does not have to worry about the meters!
4. Malls, Multiplexes and some gardens see an increase in revenue, as lovebirds miss their 'cozy spot' in the rick. ;-)
5. Most of us end up walking to destinations nearby. Walking is good for health!
6. It isn't unusual to come across cases of road rage and car drivers fighting with rickshaw drivers. Strike brings more peace to Mumbai roads.
7. No matter what, we all pray that the strike should not continue for more than a day. This leads to 'Collective prayers for greater good of the society'...something which we don't do regularly. ;-)
8. A good excuse for students to bunk college (teachers too get a break from the brats!).
9. Its great to see Mumbaikars helping each other...pooling cars...giving lifts to strangers. A true example of 'Unity in Adversity'.
10. __________________________________________________

 Let me leave the 10th reason to you. Factual, funny or weird..whatever it may be...jot it down in the comment box and hit the button. It may make someone smile!

Voice behind the 'VOICE'

A few weeks back, I read an article in one of the leading newspapers. The article was about the downfall of Sir J J School of Arts, which was once the most reputed art school in the country. Even though the article focused on the causes of the downfall and highlighted the key success factors of MSU, Baroda which now holds the top position among art schools in the country, it also showcased the appalling status of our education system.

It was not difficult for me to draw parallels between the field of fine arts and other fields of education. In comparison, one institute or university may seem to be better than the other. However, on a global map, where can we place ourselves in comparison to prestigious institutes, the Ivy Leagues and superior educations systems of not just the West, but also of countries like Singapore and Australia? All we can boast of are a few IITs and IIMs that are insufficient to cater to the vast pool of talented students in the country. This means that a highly talented student may lose the opportunity if he or she falls short by even a few points in the entrance exam. The point to be noted however is that these prestigious institutes in India are not insulated to the factors causing the quality of education to decline either.

We have succeeded in entrapping ourselves in a vicious circle. It is not just the education system but also the industry to be blamed. Industry looks at ‘labels’. The students therefore chase those labels irrespective of their caliber or interest. The system thrives on churning out graduates and post-graduates who, inspite of multiple labels, lack basic competencies. The industry then complains of ‘talent gap’. This has also led to a new order of social stratification. Those who are unable to make the cut are classified as mediocre or weak. Over a period of time, this type of classification leads to a ‘mediocre’ mindset which results in students underestimating their capabilities.

Most students join the rat race with a one track mind of getting tagged with three letters called ‘MBA’ which would serve as a ticket to a cushy job and inflate their value in matrimonial markets. The concepts of understanding the subject, analyzing realistic situations and cases in the light of those subjects, ideation, self-expression etc. are losing luster.

However, I feel that it is high time we step out of this rattletrap and re-ignite our minds. It is not just students but also academicians and corporate executives who should part take in the transmutation of the system. It is our duty to fight the existing misoneism.

One of the major steps to be taken to catapult this process of change is to encourage students to think. The idea is not just to think it, but ink it as well. This is the principle that lies at the foundation of ‘VOICE’. The vision of the magazine is to help students voice out their thoughts without keeping them bound within the walls of management.

Let me conclude by quoting Sydney J. Harris,

“The whole purpose of education is to turn mirrors into windows.”


(I was the chief-editor of the magazine 'VOICE' when I wrote this editorial)

Letting Go...

It was just another day at work for me and I was heading back home late evening. I stood waiting for the bus at the bus stop nearby. After long hours of lecturing, I sometimes choose to sit down at the bus shelter as the waiting period could be anywhere between 15 to 30 minutes. However, on that day, unlike the other days, I wasn’t feeling like sitting down. I was feeling unusually energetic and agile. As I continued to marvel the unusual energy I was experiencing, my mind began flipping through the day’s events and even the food I had consumed. There was nothing different. So where was this energy coming from? What was the secret of my agility?

It took me a while before realizing that I was not carrying my backpack. For some reason, that day, I had left my bag at home. That was what was different. So the secret to my agility was not any extra shot of energy but the lightness of my own body due to the absence of the backpack.  Suddenly, I felt a little insecure without my bag. I usually carry the books that I read and a bottle of water wherever I go. Their absence started making me feel uncomfortable.

It was then that I started relating my situation to what most of us do in our life. We carry invisible backpacks with us all the time consciously or unconsciously. The baggage would be containing negative emotions relating to the past. Bad memories, the emotions associated with those memories, anger, hatred, jealousy, vengeance, so on and so forth. Moreover, we keep adding to the baggage every single day. I know of a young man who even maintains a dairy, in which he records every incident that hurts him in some or the other way, along with the date and time! He vows to take revenge.  I wasn’t surprised to find that the pages of his diary were getting exhausted. Each day there was something new for him to add on. Inspite of being a really good human being, this baggage has been robbing him of his life force. It has begun to take a toll on his health. He knows the perils of carrying this baggage, yet not willing to let go of it.

We maybe be attached to our respective backpacks and may feel insecure in its absence, but what it really does is that, it weighs us down. The sooner we choose to let go of it, the better. We are souls meant to fly high with our wings spread wide, not crawl on the ground and be miserable throughout our lives. But the choice is ours. We do posses the power to let go. It is easier said than done. But when it is done, we will be re-born again. It will become a true cleansing process for our soul.

On that day, at the bus stop, the positive energy that I was experiencing from my agility, gradually overpowered my insecurity. I finally reached home…safe and sound. And I no more missed my backpack.