Paradox of Existence

I was recently having a conversation with one of my students, who happens to be a photography enthusiast. Our conversation found its way to the topic of self-actualization. She asked me a question. I began my process of explanation with a question...which is so typical of me. I asked her why does she love photography? She answered saying that she liked 'freezing time'. I went on with my explanation using photography as the locus and answered her question.

Her question was answered...but the session we had had, led to new questions sprouting in my mind. I specifically chose to reflect on my question and her answer of wanting to 'freeze time'. The idea of 'freezing time' swam all through my subconscious until my next conversation with her. I was intrigued to know what made her want to 'freeze time'. Her reasons failed to surprise me. I wont be elaborating them though.

I now look around at everyone...those known and unknown... and finally into the mirror at myself too. I see a bunch of human beings who love clicking away as many moments as possible, no matter how significant or insignificant they are, more so with the advent of digital cameras. We are indeed using the camera merely as a tool that satisfies our intrinsic desire to freeze time.

Photography...which until then had just carried the labels of a hobby, a profession and a passion...began morphing itself into a philosophy. A philosophy which began unveiling a grand picture that might continue to baffle me throughout my life...

Why do we try to freeze time inspite of knowing that it is an illusion? Why do we often feel like going back in time and leave our spirits oscillating between the past and present when we know that it is contrary to reality? Why do we fear stagnation in a world where change is the only constant? Why are we prone to attachments when detachment is the culmination of every attachment? Why do we know some people so deeply that it forces us to become strangers to them?

I have been trained to think rationally. I have been appreciated for the use of my logical reasoning ability. But this very same ability has today led me to a path where I come face to face with principles and laws of the universe that refrain from conforming to logic. Asking questions, has always been my forte. I have always believed in 'learning by asking' and have encouraged others to do the same. But today, my questions have taken me to a point where there are no answers. After having cultured a habit of asking questions, over a period of time, I have come to learn that some questions are better left unanswered.

The Paradox of Existence. My mind is questioning it...trying desperately to dig into it hoping to find answers...knowing that I may not find them. Afterall... this is the paradox of my existence.